This year I’ve decided to make a conscious effort to be happy! Reflecting on last year, I feel like I wasn’t in control of my life. Last year, I found myself adjusting to being a mom again, having sleepless nights and I was stuck in a rut. Half way into the year I started making decisions that would only better my family. No more putting work before my children, no more putting other’s problems before my relationship and no more putting myself last. On that note, on December 25th I sent the kids to my mom’s house and I prepared to go in for surgery (septoplasty).
Regardless of how big or small a surgery is I don’t think you can prepare enough for your recovery. I thought that within a couple of days I would be back to normal, not the case! I found myself relying on my partner for everything. I remember one day waking up from a nap on the couch and looking at him just thinking, “Wow, how did I get so lucky!” Other than my mom, nobody has ever taken care of me like he has putting me before himself. I was so moved by his love that in my drug induced emotional state I told him, “I want to marry you!” Thankfully he looked back at me and said, “I want to marry you too” which was sweet of him to say since my nose was very swollen and filled with bloody mucus all being held by gauze taped to my face.
Fast-forward to this week when I sat in an ER with my son that couldn’t breathe, a dog at the vet (3rd time going in less than a month) who has injured his back, a baby that can’t sleep at night because she has a cold, Travis is coming down with something and me still recovering. In a different time in my life, all of this would have set me into a depression. It would have caused me to have doubts and wonder why is this all happening to me at once. Instead I’m actually really proud of myself for not letting circumstances control my reactions. We can’t control what happens to us but we can do something about how we react to it. I haven’t given the events taking place much of a thought until someone pointed it out to me and told me “Oh poor you! I don’t know how you are doing it. It must be rough going through all of that at once.” Apparently, I’ve been having a rough time and I wasn’t even aware of it!!!!!!
As irony would have it I had just learned about The Baader-Meinhof phenomenon which is when you just learned about something new and shortly after you encounter the same thing again and again to the point that you are like OMG, that’s so weird its everywhere now. This is kind of like when you see a car that you like for the first time and then you see it everywhere. Our brains love recognizing patterns so the first chance it gets, it starts pointing it out to you. In my new-found positive outlook, what I took away from this is that once I gave the bad situations some acknowledgment all of the sudden that’s all I saw, bad situations happening to me over and over again. Ohh my! In the past year Ethan has been to the ER 4 times. My dog has seen the vet more times than I have seen the doctor. Travis has already gone through several bottles of cold remedy’s. Where was I that I didn’t know all of this was happening to me?!? Well I do know where I was… I was having a beautiful baby girl, enjoying my new house, cheering for my son at his basketball games, coming home to a wonderful man and being happy with my relationship with my family.
Bad things happen to all of us, but so do good things! I’m not sure when it happened but somewhere along the way my brain has finally programmed itself to acknowledge the good things, and all of the sudden the bad things don’t matter. We can’t control if it rains or it pours, but you can choose to wear a rain coat. Maybe that rain coat is tall, sweet and makes you feel like the luckiest girl in the world or maybe the rain coat calls you mom and gives you all these sloppy kisses. Rain is part of life so find your raincoat or an umbrella, either one works. 😉